Sibling Song Stories
by 1000th Ghost
Summary: iTunes challenge take two! This time, I roped my little brother into writing stories with me, using the same ten songs I was using. We got The Phantom of the Opera, The Beach Boys, almost inevitably more Weird Al, and everything in between.


Sibling Song Stories

**Write a short fic about ten random songs. Put your respective music player on shuffle, and write a story to whatever song comes up. Sounds easy? It should. Except you also have to write the story in the span of the song you are writing about.**

**#1: The Phantom of the Opera (Alternate Lyrics)**

**From: The Phantom of the Opera**

_Christine:  
Beneath the opera house,  
I know he's there,  
He's with me on the stage,  
He's everywhere.  
And when my song begins,  
I always find,  
The Phantom of the Opera  
is there,  
inside my mind. _

_  
Phantom:  
Sing once again with me,  
our strange duet,  
my power over you,  
grows stronger yet.  
You give your love to me,  
for love is blind,  
the Phantom of the opera  
is now,  
your mastermind. _

_  
Christine:  
Those who have seen your face,  
draw back in fear,  
I am the mask you wear. _

_  
Phantom:  
It's me they hear. _

_  
Christine/Phantom:  
Your/my spirit and my/your voice,  
in one combined,  
the Phantom of the opera  
is there,  
inside my/your mind.  
_

_Phantom:  
He's there'  
the Phantom of the opera,  
He's there the Phantom of the opera.  
_

_Both:  
Sing once again with me,  
our strange duet.  
_

_Phantom:  
My power over you,  
grows stronger yet.  
_

_Both:  
You give your love to me,  
for love is blind,  
the Phantom of the opera  
is now my/your mastermind.  
_

_Christine:  
He's there,  
the Phantom of the opera._

**Me:**

**(imagine Helga is The Phantom, Arnold is Christine, and Lila is Raoul)**

So, he had won. Lila, for some reason or another, loved him.

Loved him?

No. More like loved the idea of him being placed like a trophy among her collection of beaus.

But…somehow, it didn't matter.

Because he knew beneath the life he knew and loved lived a girl who loved him more.

Admittedly, at first, he had been a bit frightened.

A full-bodied shrine?

But she loved him more than life itself. Hers or anyone's…

He had betrayed and shunned her for log enough…she deserved him.

And he couldn't-and didn't want-to escape her any further.

Forever hers, her puppet, her "love god".

Helga…Phantom…love.

**My brother:**

Helga pounded on the door. She heard Arnold playing a funky guitar solo. She burst into the boarding house and found Arnold in the basement. He then proceeded to crawl into Helga's ear so he was in her mind. They then busted into a random song. Helga then reached in her ear and pulled out Arnold, who busted into another guitar solo. Helga then gave Arnold some blind love (?). They then sang together for a long time while Arnold played guitar.

**#2: White and Nerdy**

**Sung by: Weird Al Yankovic**

_They see me mowin'  
My front lawn  
I know they're all thinking  
I'm so White N' nerdy_

_Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy  
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!  
I wanna roll with-  
The gangsters  
But so far they all think  
I'm too white n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Really, really white n' nerdy_

_First in my class here at M.I.T.  
Got skills, I'm a Champion of DND  
MC Escher that's my favorite MC  
Keep your 40  
I'll just have an Earl Grey tea  
My rims never spin to the contrary  
You'll find they're quite stationary  
All of my action figures are cherry  
Steven Hawkings in my library  
My MySpace page is all totally pimped out  
I got people begging for my top 8 spaces  
Yo I know Pi to a thousand places  
Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces  
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise  
I'm a whiz at minesweeper I can play for days  
Once you see my sweet moves you're gonna stay amazed,  
my fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze  
There's no killer app I haven't run  
At Pascal, well, I'm number 1  
Do vector calculus just for fun  
I ain't got a gat but I gotta soldering gun  
Happy days is my favourite theme song  
I can sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong  
I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on  
I'm fluent in Java Script as well as Klingon  
Here's the part I sing on_

_They see me roll on, my Segway!  
I know in my heart they think I'm  
white n' nerdy!  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy  
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy  
I'd like to roll with-  
The gangsters  
Although it's apparent I'm too  
White n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
I'm just too white n' nerdy  
How'd I get so white n' nerdy?_

_I've been browsing, inspectin'  
X-men comics you know I collect 'em  
The pens in my pocket  
I must protect 'em  
my ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored  
Shopping online for deals on some writable media  
I edit Wikipedia  
I memorized Holy Grail really well  
I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL  
I got a business doing websites  
When my friends need some code who do they call?  
I do HTML for them all  
Even made a homepage for my dog!  
Yo! Got myself a fanny pack  
they were having a sale down at the GAP  
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap  
POP POP! Hope no one sees me gettin' freaky!_

_I'm nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour creme  
I was in AV club and Glee club and even the chess team!  
Only question I ever thought was hard  
Was do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?  
I spend every weekend  
at the renaissance fair  
I got my name on my under wear!_

_They see me strollin'  
They laughin'  
And rollin' their eyes 'cause  
I'm so white n' nerdy  
Just because I'm white n' nerdy  
Just because I'm white n' nerdy  
All because I'm white n' nerdy  
Holy cow I'm white n' nerdy  
I wanna bowl with-  
the gangsters  
but oh well it's obvious I'm  
white n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy  
I'm just too white n' nerdy  
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!_

**Me:**

"Oh, Arnold, how I lov-"

Wheeze.

Wheeze.

Whee-

Punch.

Faint.

What the heck was that kid's problem, anyway?

For possibly the first time in her life, Helga turned and stared at the boy who lay crumpled on the floor behind her.

Ew.

He was so pale it was almost unbearable…the blood oozing out of his nose clashed even worse.

Glasses…asthma…lint…

Could the kid _be _any more of a nerd?

It would seem as if she should sympathize with him…they both loved and were not.

But, no.

**My brother:**

Arnold was mowing his lawn

Suddenly, Helga walked up.

"You're a nerd, football head," she said.

Arnold then was sad, so he got on his Segway and ran away. Helga, realizing she had upset him, ran to the store and got a rare X-Men comic. Arnold was so happy when she gave it to him that he started to sing the "Happy Days" theme. And they lived happily ever after.

**#3: If I Were a Rich Man**

**From: The Fiddler on the Roof**

_TEVYE  
"Dear God, you made many, many poor people.  
I realize, of course, that it's no shame to be poor.  
But it's no great honor either!  
So, what would have been so terrible if I had a small fortune?"_

_If I were a rich man,  
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.  
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.  
If I were a wealthy man.  
I wouldn't have to work hard.  
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.  
If I were a biddy biddy rich,  
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man._

_I'd build a big tall house with rooms by the dozen,  
Right in the middle of the town.  
A fine tin roof with real wooden floors below.  
There would be one long staircase just going up,  
And one even longer coming down,  
And one more leading nowhere, just for show._

_I'd fill my yard with chicks and turkeys and geese and ducks  
For the town to see and hear.  
(Insert)Squawking just as noisily as they can. (End Insert)  
And each loud "cheep" and "swaqwk" and "honk" and "quack"  
Would land like a trumpet on the ear,  
As if to say "Here lives a wealthy man."_

_If I were a rich man,  
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.  
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.  
If I were a wealthy man.  
I wouldn't have to work hard.  
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.  
If I were a biddy biddy rich,  
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man._

_I see my wife, my Golde, looking like a rich man's wife  
With a proper double-chin.  
Supervising meals to her heart's delight.  
I see her putting on airs and strutting like a peacock.  
Oy, what a happy mood she's in.  
Screaming at the servants, day and night._

_The most important men in town would come to fawn on me!  
They would ask me to advise them,  
Like a Solomon the Wise.  
"If you please, Reb Tevye..."  
"Pardon me, Reb Tevye..."  
Posing problems that would cross a rabbi's eyes!  
And it won't make one bit of difference if i answer right or wrong.  
When you're rich, they think you really know!_

_If I were rich, I'd have the time that I lack  
To sit in the synagogue and pray.  
And maybe have a seat by the Eastern wall.  
And I'd discuss the holy books with the learned men, several hours every day.  
That would be the sweetest thing of all._

_If I were a rich man,  
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.  
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.  
If I were a wealthy man.  
I wouldn't have to work hard.  
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.  
(Delete)If I were a biddy biddy rich,  
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man. (End Delete)  
(Insert) Lord who mad ethe lion and the lamb,  
You decreed I should be what I am.  
Would it spoil some vast eternal plan?  
If I were a wealthy man._

**Me:**

**(takes place at some point after the movie)**

Arnold looked around his room and sighed in satisfaction.

Fully equipped with surround sound, speakers, lights…all the electronic gizmos a kid could ask for.

Unbeknownst to him, a pigtailed girl stared down from his skylight and took in the same scenery.

No, the boy wasn't rich. In fact, his "house" (if one could even call the boarding house that) was more or less falling apart at any given moment.

Helga wasn't exactly rich either…but, unfortunately, she was used to a certain lifestyle that was a bit more expensive than her beloved could afford.

She loved him…but she loved money.

Oh, curse the day she was born a Pataki!

Arnold glanced up, and his eyes widened in surprise. Then he smiled his famous half-lidded stare and beckoned to her.

Money wasn't everything, she supposed.

**My brother:**

Arnold realized that he was poor and lived in a boarding house. So, he started to fantasize what it would be like to be rich. He decided that he would biddy-biddy-bum a lot. He decided that he would have chicks in the yard. Especially this girl named Helga. There was one chick he would want in his yard. So, he went to the bank and robbed it with the help of a magician's girlfriend. He then went to Helga's house and told her he was rich, and he wanted her in his yard. So, he spent every day watching Helga in his yard going "quack", but then the cops came and took them away. The End!

**#4: Money (That's What I Want)**

**From: Josie and the Pussycats**

_(This is for all you  
Shoppers out there)  
The best things  
In life are free  
But you can keep them  
For the birds and bees  
Give me money  
(That's what I want)  
That's what I want  
(That's what I want)  
That's what I want, yeah  
That's what I want_

_Your lovin' give me a thrill  
But your lovin'  
Don't pay my bills  
Give me money  
(That's what I want)  
That's what I want  
(That's what I want)  
That's what I want, yeah  
That's what I want_

_Money don't buy  
Everything, it's true  
But what it don't get  
I can't use  
Give me money  
(That's what I want)  
Lots of money  
(That's what I want)  
That's what I want, yeah  
That's what I want_

_Give me money  
(That's what I want)  
Lots of money  
(That's what I want)  
Just give me some money  
(That's what I want)  
A whole lotta money  
(That's what I want)  
That's what I want, yeah  
That's what I want_

**Me:**

**(takes place during the episode 'Arnold's Christmas')**

Nancy Spumoni signature snow boots.

Every grade school girl's dream.

One's only Christmas wish.

Only wish…except for maybe the love of a certain football headed boy.

Helga looked down at her beautiful, expensive, one-of-a-kind snow boots…and then at the list in her hand.

She could help him…anonymously…gain nothing…

She wouldn't be happy…

But, then again, she never was.

**My brother:**

Arnold wanted some money. So, he decided to mow people's lawns. But then he realized that he lived in the city, and no one had a lawn. So, he started a pussycat orphanage, and he made lots of money. So, he lived happily ever after.

**#5: For Unto Us a Child is Born**

**Sung by: The Mormon Tabernacle Choir**

_For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given, and the government  
shall be upon His shoulder; and His name shall be called Wonderful,  
Counselor, the Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace._

**Me:**

**(takes place at some point after the movie)**

"Stupid…football…head…!" Helga panted, glaring at the boy in front of her.

"Gerald, drive faster!" Arnold exclaimed to his best friend.

Gerald glared at the road in front of him as he struggled to keep the car under control.

"Man…I've really gotta quit hanging out with you guys. How many times are you gonna make me risk my life driving vehicles?"

"Gerald…"Arnold pleaded.

"Yeah, but apparently age means nothing to you two," he continued, glancing at the very pregnant girl in the backseat. "Driving age or otherwise."

His rant was interrupted by a scream of utter pain from the pink-clad girl.

"Helga…" Arnold said, his voice edged in concern.

He kissed her and sighed.

**My brother:**

Helga screamed, and Arnold Jr. was born. Arnold was very happy that a son had been given unto them. He expected that it had been a painful delivery because their son had an equally deformed head. The doctors then tried to immunize Arnold Jr., but Mommy swooped down and battled the doctors to the death. Arnold Jr. grew up to be a guidance counselor at P.S. 118. Arnold and Helga were very proud of Arnold Jr. Arnold Jr. then became the prince of the world. The end!

**#6: Get the Party Started**

**Sung by: Pink**

_I'm comin' up so you better get this party started  
I'm comin' up so you better get this party started_

_Get this party started on a Saturday night  
Everybody's waiting for me to arrive  
Sendin' out the message to all of my friends  
We'll be looking flashy in my Mercedes Benz  
I got lot of style, check my gold diamond rings  
I can go for miles if you know what I mean  
I'm comin' up so you better get this party started  
I'm comin' up so you better get this party started_

_Pumping up the volume, breaking down to the beat  
Cruisin' through the west side  
We'll be checkin' the scene  
Boulevard is freakin' as I'm comin' up fast  
I'll be burnin' rubber, you'll be kissin' my ass  
Pull up to the bumper, get out of the car  
License plate says Stunner #1 Superstar_

_I'm comin' up so you better get this party started  
I'm comin' up so you better get this party started  
Get this party started_

_Making my connection as I enter the room  
Everybody's chilling as I set up the groove  
Pumpin' up the volume with this brand new beat  
Everybody's dancing and they're dancing for me  
I'm your operator, you can call anytime  
I'll be your connection to the party line_

_I'm comin' up so you better get this party started  
I'm comin' up so you better get this party started  
I'm comin' up so you better get this party started  
I'm comin' up so you better get this party started  
Get this party started  
Get this party started right now  
Get this party started  
Get this party started  
Get this party started right now_

**Me:**

Arnold drummed his fingers on the table, glancing uninterestedly at the dancing couples around him.

"Dancing"?

Huh, intercourse through the clothes was more accurate.

He moved to the punch table without really wanting any…and bumped into someone.

"Hey, football head," Helga mumbled without even looking up.

"How'd you know it was me?"

She laughed. "Who the heck else would it be?"

Point.

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

"What?" she asked.

He shrugged.

"Wanna dance?"

She laughed again. "Not really…" she said, coyly leading him towards the stairs.

**My brother:**

Arnold was at a party. It hadn't started yet because everybody was waiting for Helga to show up. Then she pulled up in a Mercedes. The party then started. Arnold danced with Helga the whole time. But Helga kept telling people to start the party, even though had already started. So, they put her in an asylum.

**#7: Miracle of Miracles**

**From: The Fiddler on the Roof**

_Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles-  
God took up Daniel once again,  
Stood by his and side and- miracle of miracles-  
Walked him through the lion's den!_

_Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles-  
I was afraid that God would frown,  
But like he did so long ago, at Jericho,  
God just made a wall fall down!_

_When Moses softened Pharaohs heart, that was a miracle.  
When God made the waters of the red sea part, that was a miracle too!  
But of all God's miracles large and small,  
The most miraculous one of all  
Is that out of a worthless lump of clay,  
God has made a man today._

_Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles-  
God took the tailor by the hand  
Turned him around and- miracle of miracles- Led him to the promised land!_

_When David slew Goliath (yes!), that was a miracle.  
When God gave us matter in the wilderness, that was a miracle too.  
But of all God's miracles large and small,  
The most miraculous one of all  
Is the one I thought could never be:  
God has given you to me._

**Me:**

"I can't…I mean…" She looked at him in shock, all color drained from her face. "You can't be serious."

Arnold smirked at her incredulity and kissed her frozen lips again. "Sure I can."

"No. You can't."

"Why?"

"Because…if _you _loved _me_…" She shook her head. "It would be a miracle."

"Well…here's your miracle, Helga."

**My brother:**

It was a miracle. Big Bob had let Arnold marry Helga. So, they were married and Arnold was led to the promise land. They lived happily ever after. The end!

**#8: Achy Breaky Song**

**Sung by: Weird Al Yankovic**

_You can torture me  
With Donnie & Marie  
You can play some Barry Manilow  
Or you can play some schlock  
Like New Kids On The Block  
Or any Village People song you know  
Or play Vanilla Ice  
Hey, you can play him twice  
And you can play the Bee Gees any day  
But Mr. DJ, please  
I'm beggin' on my knees  
I just can't take no more of Billy Ray_

_Don't play that song  
That "Achy Breaky" song  
The most annoying song I know  
And if you play that song  
That "Achy Breaky" song  
I might blow up my radio, ooo..._

_You can clear the room  
By playind Debbie Boon  
Or crank your Abba records until dawn  
Oh, I can even hear  
Slim Whitman or Zamfir  
Don't mind a Yoko Ono marathon  
Or play some Tiffany  
On 8-track or CD  
Or scrape your fingernails across the board  
Or tie me to a chair  
And kick me down the stairs  
Just please don't play that stupid song no more_

_Don't play that song  
That "Achy Breaky" song  
You know I hate that song a bunch  
And if you play that song  
That nauseating song  
It might just make me lose my lunch, ooo..._

_Don't play that song  
That "Achy Breaky" song  
I think it's driving me insane  
Oh, please don't play that song  
That irritating song  
I'd rather have a pitchfork in my brain..._

_Don't play that song  
That "Achy Breaky" song  
The most annoying song I know  
And if you play that song  
That "Achy Breaky" song  
I might blow up my radio, ooo-woo..._

**Me:**

**(takes place during Halloween)**

"Olga…you have _got _to be kidding me," Helga said in horror as she gazed at her reflection in the mirror.

"Oh, baby sister, you look absolutely _adorable_!" her sister squealed, adjusting Helga's trademark Hannah Montana wig. "Girls your age _love _Hannah Montana! And, you know, Mommy and Daddy danced to her father's 'Achy Breaky Heart' at their wedding."

Helga rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and _that _went well."

They were startled by the doorbell which Helga ran to answer before her sister.

"Arnold!"

"Hey, Helg…whoa! Nice costume! You look…amazing!"

"Gee, thanks Hannah," she thought somewhat sarcastically.

**My brother:**

Helga was in her room, crying. Arnold had said no when she asked him to the dance. Suddenly, an achy breaky song came on the radio. It made her even sadder. She then lost her lunch. She couldn't find it anywhere. But then a pitchfork fell into her brain. Arnold came into the room and bandaged her head. Then they went to the dance.

**#9: Cabaret**

**From: Cabaret**

_What good is sitting alone in your room?  
Come hear the music play.  
Life is a Cabaret, old chum,  
Come to the Cabaret._

_Put down the knitting,  
The book and the broom.  
Time for a holiday.  
Life is Cabaret, old chum,  
Come to the Cabaret._

_Come taste the wine,  
Come hear the band.  
Come blow your horn,  
Start celebrating;  
Right this way,  
Your table's waiting_

_No use permitting  
some prophet of doom  
To wipe every smile away.  
Come hear the music play.  
Life is a Cabaret, old chum,  
Come to the Cabaret!_

_I used to have a girlfriend  
known as Elsie  
With whom I shared  
Four sordid rooms in Chelsea_

_She wasn't what you'd call  
A blushing flower...  
As a matter of fact  
She rented by the hour._

_The day she died the neighbors  
came to snicker:  
"Well, thats what comes  
from to much pills and liquor."_

_But when I saw her laid out like a Queen  
She was the happiest...corpse...  
I'd ever seen._

_I think of Elsie to this very day.  
I'd remember how'd she turn to me and say:  
"What good is sitting alone in your room?  
Come hear the music play.  
Life is a Cabaret, old chum,  
Come to the Cabaret."_

_And as for me,  
I made up my mind back in Chelsea,  
When I go, I'm going like Elsie._

_Start by admitting  
From cradle to tomb  
Isn't that long a stay.  
Life is a Cabaret, old chum,  
Only a Cabaret, old chum,  
And I love a Cabaret!_

**Me:**

Helga sighed. Here it went again. The curtain parted, and the blinding lights shined on her obnoxious, pink-sequined, tight-fitting dress.

She started to sing some two-cent ditty about love or money or alcohol and then glanced sideways at her dancing partner.

Dressed in a matching green-sequined dress was her archrival, Lila Sawyer.

And in the front row, of course, Arnold.

He was always there.

Every night.

Every show.

Staring at one of them…but which one?

Helga fingered the knife she held behind her back.

From now on…herself.

**My brother:**

Arnold was sitting alone in his room. He suddenly realized it was a holiday. So, he went to the cabaret and saw Helga singing. Helga then confessed to being a lesbian. So, she made out with a dead chick. Arnold, sickened, left the cabaret and took up knitting. As for Helga, she went like Elsie (?). The End! (thank goodness)!

**#10: Woudn't It Be Nice**

**Sung by: The Beach Boys**

_Wouldnt it be nice if we were older  
Then we wouldnt have to wait so long  
And wouldnt it be nice to live together  
In the kind of world where we belong_

_You know its gonna make it that much better  
When we can say goodnight and stay together_

_Wouldnt it be nice if we could wake up  
In the morning when the day is new  
And after having spent the day together  
Hold each other close the whole night through_

_Happy times together weve been spending  
I wish that every kiss was neverending  
Wouldnt it be nice_

_Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true  
Baby then there wouldnt be a single thing we couldnt do  
We could be married  
And then wed be happy_

_Wouldnt it be nice_

_You know it seems the more we talk about it  
It only makes it worse to live without it  
But let's talk about it  
Wouldnt it be nice_

**Me:**

"Marry me?"

Helga rolled her eyes. "Sure."

"'kay."

Arnold ran his fingers through her hair absentmindedly.

"Why are we only ten?"

"'Cause the fates are against us."

"Guess so." He sighed dejectedly.

"Hey, come on, football head," Helga joked, hitting his arm playfully. "We could always drug our parents and get them so sign the consent form."

**My brother:**

Helga was on her bed fantasizing.

"Wouldn't it be nice if Arnold and I could be together?" she thought.

Arnold was on his bed fantasizing.

"Wouldn't it be nice if that jerk with a unibrow was gone?" he thought.

Stinky was on his bed, fantasizing.

"Wouldn't it be nice if I wasn't a vampire?" he thought.


End file.
